Mr. Snow Cone and I don't live together currently; we didn't come to this decision easily or quickly. Neither of us really harbors any deep opposition to premarital cohabitation, in general. However, through our discussions about our own living situation, we discovered that we were both against premarital cohabitation
for us. Prior to last year, we had spent the previous four years 400 miles apart, visiting each other about once a month. When faced with the exciting prospect of finally seeing each other for more than 36 hours every 30 days, we wanted to make sure we handled this transition properly. Given how accustomed we had become to a long-distance relationship, we were nervous that going from two states away to two feet away would be too harsh of a transition too quickly. As a result, we decided to give ourselves a one-year grace period of living in the same zip code but not in the same apartment. I'm not trying to insinuate that we thought we
couldn't handle that large of a transition; we simply decided that we probably
shouldn't. We wanted to get accustomed to seeing each other daily without causing too severe of a shock to our individual and joint systems.
When we made our living decision, one reason to live separately centered on the wedding - we didn't want to live together, establish a routine, have a grandiose wedding, and then revert right back to that routine. We wanted the wedding to mark a definite transition in our lives, rather than a giant party that was thrown over the weekend before we got back to life as normal. Now that the wedding is creeping ever closer, that reason to not live together is quickly becoming more valid. From an economic standpoint, our decision to live separately was absurd - we could have saved oodles of money by paying one rent instead of two. More importantly, though, from an emotional standpoint, our decision was completely sound. I am very much looking forward to that day in August when we finally get to move into
our apartment after
our wedding as
husband and wife. I think that extra dose of transition and new-ness will add just a dash of extra excitement to the entire affair.
This past year of living separately has been totally worth it, but with that being said, I am definitely ready for it to come to a close. I'm ready to not have to take a couple flights of stairs just to see Mr. Snow Cone. I'm ready to not have to have an extra key on my key ring. I'm ready to sleep in a non-twin bed and feel like a grown-up, going to sleep and waking up to one very handsome dude. I'm just ready.
How did you and your fiance navigate premarital living situations?
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