Monday, January 24, 2011

What are we really talking about here?

When we first got engaged, the term "honeymoon" evoked thoughts of luxurious suites in tropical locations, palm trees, crystal clear water, white sand, and total relaxation.  I was perfectly sold on the idea of sipping frozen beverages on a warm beach in the Caribbean for a week.  Like this photo, but substitute the Snow Cones for the really, really, ridiculously good-looking models in this shot:

 Image via Honeymoon Caribbean
Mr. Snow Cone, on the other hand, wasn't drinking the Caribbean Kool-Aid.  He had some significant concerns with this plan.  Most importantly, the Caribbean in August was quite the risk to be taking.  We're honeymooning in prime hurricane season, so most of the Caribbean is iffy at best.  There are a few islands that are protected, but they are harder to access, meaning more travel time and more travel expense.  On top of the possibility of having our honeymoon wrecked by weather, he also wasn't in love with the idea of blowing all of our wedding money on this trip.  My mentality was that we only get one honeymoon, so we may as well do it up right.  His mentality was that a honeymoon is a nice trip to kick off a married life together, but we should save money for real-world expenses like student loans, car purchases, and house down payments.  Commence tug-of-war: honeymoon edition!

I struggled to hear the sensibility in his arguments.  Instead, I got my nose all bent out of joint that he was so anti-my honeymoon plan.  I took it far more personally than I ever should have.  I just couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to splurge a little (or a lot) to make this the trip of a lifetime.  He then got his nose all bent out of joint because he was alarmed at my lack of financial maturity and how that would impact all of our future decision-making.  I was panicking that he would always want to play it safe, missing out on opportunities for fun in the name of future savings.  He was (likely) panicking that I would need something expensive and exciting to please me for the rest of our days together.

Our conversations about destinations, airfare, and accommodations silently transformed into conversations about finances, priorities, and partnership.  Talking about the honeymoon was just a cover for what we were really talking about.  What seemed like a fun, exciting decision on the outside actually served as a pretty difficult (but very necessary) series of conversations on the inside.  Kind of like the whole Vanessa-Ursula thing.

Image via FanPop / Artwork by Disney

After all was said (and said and said and said) and done, we finally decided on a honeymoon that fits both sets of expectations - it doesn't empty our bank account, but it's still a very nice vacation for the two of us to share as newlyweds.

Did you have any wedding planning discussions that turned into something much bigger?

1 comment:

  1. Ooooh--can't wait to see where you're going!

    Picking a honeymoon location was a PAIN IN THE ASS for us. It took us MONTHS to decide--our problem was that we had 100 ideas and couldn't narrow it down to just one. FINALLY we decided on Honduras and we're both happy with our choice.